Lezbehonest

November November November. Twitter informed me of two ridiculously important events this morning 1. Kim Kardashian’s divorce from horse face McGeee I mean Kris Humphries 2. That today marks the beginning of no shave November. A holiday that most girls celebrate during the winter months anyway so like NBD or whatever. Now addressing Mrs. K. I think that we all need to come together, realize how badly we have all been played by the Kardashian family, pack up our clothes (erase the wedding special from your DVR) and leave. This family is playing us so hard, so so SO hard. And look I’m going to say it, I’m going to lay it out there, its gonna happen, watch my words, hear me now. KIM KARDASHIAN ISN’T THAT FUCKING HOT. Boom. Yeah I said it. What. UP?

I looked around my room as I typed that, if I go missing, you all know what happened. They’ve got me. I’m tied in the Kardashian basement being forced to look at before and after shots of Kris Jenner’s face. Call my grandpa. There are lawyers in the family…I think? helpajewout.com? But really. For serious. I can think of a bagillion people who I would rather be watching weekly. Hell with the fucking sound off. If millions of media dollars are going into some beauties face I would rather it be someone delicious. delicious like who you say?

Delicious like dis.

People MUCH hotter than Kim K. My top 5:

Naya Rivera

Santana could have assaulted me everyday of my high school life. Every. Single. Day. And girl can sing? Psh.

Frieda Pinto

I actually don’t have the ability to come up with any semi intelligent comment for how ridiculously gorgeous this woman is. Wait…yeah nothing.

Alessandra Ambrosio

Now The Real World has been on for what? A hundred years? Why is horrible reality t.v. still in existence yet NO ONE has decided to put 7 Vicoria’s Secret Angels in a house. WHY?

*ring*

Hi t.v. Jesus. Ryan Seacrest. Quick question why you slackin?

Zoe Saldana

But wait. Than. This. Happened:

In the very non lesbian words of Rachel Zoe. I. Die.

Olivia Wilde

I mean I like House but lezbehonest. There was really only one thing keeping me hooked. Ok 13. Ha! Get it? AND she was bi. Like seriously Fox? How can you on one hand bring me shows like Glee showcasing the lesbiyummy that is Brittany and Santana and than be all behind Bill O’Reilly? And I do mean behind. Because you do truly fuck that man. Such a conflict of interest…or maybe…not so much?

Ok wait. WAIT what if we could totally ignore reality/fiction and put The Real Angel’s (working title of my Victoria’s Secret house of winged insanity) next to Shane and Jenny’s house BUT back when Shane wasn’t under the spell of Ursala aka Jenny and still fucking Carmen. So so SOOOO whenever Shane and Carmen got into fights they would be left with no other choice but to go next door. AND when Shane finally got caught systematically banging every angel and Carmen did what we all were always waiting for and tried to kill her for real for real not like that one time with the fire extinguisher like ACTUAL murder kinda like how Bette killed Jenny. Yeah I said it. Bette did it. The Angels would be forced to call an ambulance which would whisk Shane away and land her right into 13’s caring arms. Mmm bam.

Happy November. So who are your top 5?

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