No. Not that L Word.

It all started with a Robyn song…doesn’t it always?

It got me thinking.

We can hang out. We can chill. We can cuddlefuckpartykissmakeoutbond but we CAN NOT fall in love. How many times have you heard that one? Like actually directly: “Look I like you but this whole relationship; love shit, it aint goin down.” Which ok I get and I’m totally cool with but to a point. We’re young we should be dating and finding out what we want out of life never mind love but is there really something so terrible about just letting it happen?

Emotionally unavailable people blow. Always. In any form of relationship. I personally am a runner. I’ll own up to it. When things get too real when I could be blindsided. When a bitch could break my heart and leave me well…crying watching The Notebook and eating Papa Johns…wait. What? As I was saying – I’m gone. OUT. Haithiswasfunbutireallygottagonow. I’m working on it. I hear its called growing up. But while I am a runner I am not a heart waller. What is a heart waller you ask? A heart waller is someone who could very well be incredibly charming. They may be amazing. But their heart? Their heart is under lock and key. Try all you’d like. But sorry Charlie you are not allowed.

When our parents were our age bitches were MARRIED. Now I am by no means trying to wife anyone (unless…any takers?) but it is really interesting that the generation gap between us and our parents extends into love. Let’s face it us New Yorkers extend our youth as far as possible. Find me another city where its ok for people in their thirty’s to have roommates and no set partner. I’m by no means hating. But the speed of NYC, the pretenses of why most of us are here, it all sets us up for a super unloving way of life.

It also can not be ignored that for us gays the whole marriage thing was never an option until recently so we could kind of file it under #shitthatsnevergoingtohappen and be kiddie winks forever. But guess what homo’s? We can now. At least here in the tri state. Which means our parents can now apply the same pressure on us that they’ve been hassling our siblings with. That’s right. The Christmas is going to come, when mom is all so when are you going to stop going to that Cubby place and actually find a decent girl? Wham bam mom got real. So when are you? Hm?

I shall go back to my ever reliable source into the minds of lesbians OkCupid. My research (creeping) has left me scratching my head. OkCupid IS a dating site…implying that those on it are looking for…dates…and possibly (cover your lesbian ears) love. You’re like no way in hell am I meeting my future boo thang online. But let’s pause for a second. Is it less embarrassing to explain to mom and dad or any straight friend, that you two met plastered after drinking way too many 2 dollar margs (straight friends will understand) OR at a party with a word like cunt,titty,finger,lesbo in the title?

“I don’t know dad the dancers cleared off the stage at Truck Stop and I saw her standing there post lapdance and I was all fuck, mother of my unborn children. Right there.”

Honestly. We met online is sounding a hellofalot better. Hello? Our divorced parents would totally understand EHarmony and Match.com anyone?

But back to the question at hand. Why is love so scuurry? I actually want to know. Why? What’s the problem? Being busy sucks. Being in school and constantly being busy and working a job sucks. Being stuck in a well for 8 hours sucks. Love, love sometimes sucks too. But all of those moments seem a bit less sucky when you can pick up your phone emoticon filled and all and see: Baby I ❤ you.

Ok its not that serious. But you know…winter is coming aka lesbian wifing season. I know you want someone to knit that scarf for and watch re runs of The L Word while playing with your brand new kitten. Don’t even lie. You dream of that snow day.

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