Gay Lisssssp

Ok so I have a little problem, no not necessarily a problem a tiny issue mayhaps? It’s a question of sorts Gay men, were you born with that voice or did you…gayquire it?

You know what I’m talking about that …gaylisphighpitchedsquel thing. Lesbians don’t have a voice. Yes we have some questionable clothing choices. Buh we aint got no twang (except for those still trying to do the half asleep, raspy, bored, Shane vernacular…come here a little closer right over here CUT THAT SHIT OUT RIGHT NOW)

So what gives boys? I know that not all gay men gayspeak but majority rules here. I’m deducing gayspeak to be a condition of nurture. One similar to a sorority house. 30 girls live together, wearing Love Spell and every piece of everything Victoria Secret has to offer. They can’t help but speak like everyone else, because God forbid you did anything to not fit in. No not you Becky number 3. So just like Becky, Charlie came out and he quickly realized his voice needed to raise a few octaves and that maybe he should start being able to name drop Barbara Streisand movies and acquire a love for show tunes: taaadaa Gay. And maybe he needed to shorten his name…”call me Char dar.”But really though, I could interchangeably talk to all of my gay (queen) male friends blindfolded and probably only be able to pick out 3 of them. Where’s the gayviduality?

Lesbians and gender queers don’t think you’re off the hook. I’m looking at you sleeveless t wearing, half head shaven, summer leather jacket rocking, American Eagle brief wearing, snapback always on, carabeaner holds my house keys some of which I bought at the key place just to look more legit, mother fuckers.

Who knew that a bunch of what society all thought would be sorority girls, went to a liberal arts college, studied gender and came out looking like little boi’s …kids these days. Not to mention the baby dykes who dress like gay boys yet sound like straight girls.

Our parents must be so confused.

But really though, about that lisp…


3 thoughts on “Gay Lisssssp”

  1. I always say the gay voice is a beginner gay boy thing. My best guy friend, since coming out 11 years ago, has outgrown it. I remember the first time we went out (to Luxe -kill me) and we were having a normal conversation in the car- then as soon as we got inside and spotted one of his boys he was all, “oh hunayy! Loves the tank! This is my bFF Nikki– isn’t she FAB!?” and I’m standing there all like– whoa– what shedevil just invaded my best friends body. Not two minutes ago he was still a deep voiced stud-ready to get his dance on. #confused
    But, after about 2 years gay-lisp-be-gone girlfriend. Thank god it was short lived.

  2. I am on a comment role here! But I never had that lisp??? I mean my voice is higher than normal sometimes but that’s just my voice. So true though.

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