“I just don’t look gay enough.”
We’ve all heard our more femme faced/dressed friends say it and all I can ever think is:
Boo boo don’t worry about it she’ll know you’re a huge fagette when you’re laying underneath her knee deep in…ok you get the picture.
I just really hate this whole “looking gay thing” because usually what it equates to, is throwing on a fitted or a snap back, wearing a pair of guys jeans, a loose but not too loose t shirt and of course a pair of boxers preferably American Eagle. (guilty)
And thus one can walk into many a bar/club and see tens of girls dressed in different variations of the same outfit. Its cute. Really. Alesbiandorable.
Granted I did see this a lot more when I lived upstate in the small city of Rochester; which definitely isn’t known for its impeccable fashion sense. But one can not debate that there are some pretty strict/serious lesbian dress codes here in NYC. And underneath all of the flannel, white T’s, tight leather jackets, snap backs, and black skinny jeans is this whine. This femme whine. It goes something like:
“Why isn’t she hitting on me DOESN’T SHE KNOW I’M GAY?!?!?! Promptly followed by: “Thats it we’re going shopping tomorrow, I’m shaving half of my head, and only drinking beer when we go out.”
So quick question to all of my fembians:
Would you prefer for society to know you were gay all of the time? Or do you just want the lesbian nation to know?
If you’re going to play dress up at gay events and parties why not do it at work? On the street? You’re playing games for pussy. Admit it.
I’m not mad at you for it. There’s this stupid idea in the lesbian community that once you begin presenting yourself in a more masculine context you will be guaranteed recognition in the lesbo world.
When I lived upstate I went through a mild crisis of not looking like any of my lovely white softball dyke bro’s. Here I was this six foot one, tattooed, black gender fuck surrounded by these tiny pretty faced blondes in American Eagle guys jeans and high ponys.
So I tried the style for a hot second. And you know what? I hated it. I was playing a role, and yes I was getting attention from girls, but not the girls that I wanted attention from. So I quickly went back to my old duds and became a ok with being that kid who was a bit different. And the kid who was finally dating people I was on the same page with.
Its your skin. Own it. Seriously.
Your sexuality isn’t determined by your clothes. Your clothes should accentuate your sexuality. They should show who you are. Who you really are. Otherwise you’re just playing games. And here’s another thing. Don’t assume that because someone is dressed in guys clothes that their self esteem is through the roof. What’s stopping you from buying them a drink and making the first move?
And this concludes Ryley’s Femme PSA. Thank you for listening.