It’s Going to Linger

So I’m going to make a statement and then you’re all going to get all gay mad. K? K.

Gay people take longer to grow up in relationships than straight people. Bam. Said it. Judge me. So I said it. Now I’ll back it up.

When straight people are 13 through let’s say 23 (this age can extend to about 30 in NYC) they go through a phase called growing up. They date. Lose their virginity. Experiment. Blah blah blah. Then around 24 their families are all SO WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? And thus the rush to baby making begins.

Now when gays grow up (for the most part unless you’re lucky enough to live in a liberal ass town Montclair hay) you simply fit in. For middle school and high school you realize that this straight shit just isn’t for you. But because you’re not trying to attempt social suicide you go through all the motions. Then college hits and you’re like o shit. And then you graduate and hit the real world and you’re like OH SHIT.

Straight life cycles and gay life cycles are different. Gay marriage is illegal in more states than it is legal. Most gays don’t have to even think about marriage. So we cut loose. We date and fuck like gay chickens who’ve glitter bombed the McDonalds factory and never have to worry about being nuggets.

I love my gays. But if you haven’t had your first “real” relationship until you’re in your twenties well, marriage and all of that is just much too far off for you to even grasp.

A lot of crap is given to the bisexual community. They’re often ostracized out of the LGBT because we feel we have the right to pass them off as skanks who just can’t choose. If that’s the case I know a whole lotta lesbians who may as well start calling themselves bi because they treat the dating world like an all you can eat Chinese Buffet. I have friends that walk into clubs and their eyes light up like a fat kid at 16 Handles (ok I’m absolutely guilty of that shit is delicious). But honestly how dare you all hate on bisexuals for doing the same exact crap?

Being a young lesbian is essentially like being stuck in some combination of a bar and a locker room. A barker room. Everyone is competing to look the best, fuck the best, and hangout with the best. High school part two with about 50x the alcohol and no parents. I know all your thinking is:
Her life is AWESOME!

Kill me.

We are but a blip in the dating scene. Gays mix into daily work life and life in general. Many of us still have to hide who we are at the office for fear of being fired. For being punished for who we choose to love. So can you really blame us for going ape shit at parties and clubs? It’s like when Catholic School girls transfer to Public School. MAYHEM. And while I’m ok with cutting loose I just wish we could grow up. Just a little bit. With all the Peter Pan dykes rolling around (Peter Pan Dyke – a lesbian who refuses to be an adult) what can we expect? Well I expect a lil respect. And a little hindsight. Falling in love isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you. Being gay is not a gateway drug into slutdum. And if all else fails remember this mantra:

Think before you finger because that pussy gonna linger.

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