Things That Don’t Exist

You know how sometimes when you’re with a group of friends, someone makes a statement about something being fact or fiction and suddenly a rally goees down? You know those little arguements with your friends where someone SWEARS that they’re right and everyone else is like nah sorry, pump those breaks cuz you’re wronger than wrong? People pick sides, mimosas are spilled at brunch, ex lax is put into beers left on counters, people are left out of plans, ex girlfreinds are slept with…ok maybe not that far but you catch my drift. Shit gets real.

So, one of these statement battles happened this weekend in my group of friends. And because this is my blog, I am going to say that my side of the battle was won, and furthermore I will safely state that all evidence suggests that I am indeed correct. Having lived in and around Manhattan for my entire life, I am calling myself a visual expert. Ladies and gentleman:

Baby pigeons do not exist.

Yeah I hear you, you’re like of course baby pigeons exist. Anything that is alive, was once a baby. But seriously, hear me out, have you ever fucking seen a baby pigeon?
No. You haven’t.

Goodbye.

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