Ilene This is Everything You Did Wrong

Ilene Chaiken you created the most legendary lesbian show of all time. The L Word is permanently cemented in all of our minds. Sometimes I go through my phone wanting to text Alice something and then remember…that she’s not real. But lez all be really honest here. The writing on The L Word kind of umm…sucked. The story lines were cray. The characters were unbelievable though we chose to believe they could actually be very real people (thank god Tina does not exist in my life). But what else has there ever been on t.v. that was written by us and was for us? The L Word was monumental. It still is. But Ilene it’s time someone told you. There are some things you really. Seriously. Fucked. Up.

1. Killing someone everyone already hated aka Jenny fucking Schector. I have actually never been happier.

2. Making a dick fuck like Shane seem like every lesbians dream & worst nightmare at the same time. Cut to now and every masculine lesbian having to hear time and time again: You’re like a total Shane right? Basically making being emotionally available…not a thing. And people being ok with it…yet constantly bitching about it…because well don’t we lesbians like to bitch? xo

3. KILLING DANA
This is probably actually totally thoroughly the worst thing that has ever happened on tv. EVER. I can’t even forgive you. Illene imma let you finish but everyone knows Alice and Dana had the best cable t.v. love story of all time.

4. Making me watch Tina have sex. Girl. You so wrong.

5. Making me watch Kit and Papi have sex. Girl. You dumb wrong.

6. Max.
The shitty as FUCK way you showed Max going through transitioning.
The fact that you got Max preggo with the worst homo alive’s baby.
The fact that you fucked up every single one of Max’s relationships.
The fact that UGH I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON.
Way to bring a trans person onto t.v. and royally fuck it up. Royally.

7. Carmen never coming back.
Sarah Shahi is like Christmas. She must appear once a year.

8. Not tying up any lose ends. You can not just end a show where viewers essentially see the cast as family and then just. Poof. No. Sorry.

9. Shane fucking every hot woman on the planet, do every drug under the sun, turn tricks on Santa Monica Blvd for gay dudes…and yet not have any STD’s.

10. Shenny. Seriously? Shane + Jenny? Twat? I thought watching Jenny and Carmen pee together was the worst moment in the history of all things lesbionic…and then…Shane and Jenny kissed.

11. The fact that everyone had magic money. No one ever seemed to be struggling. Helena for like a month and a half buh like really. Shane literally never had a job for longer then 3 months yet she somehow was a successful business owner? And how did she become a celebrity hair stylist? WHERE DID SHE EVEN LEARN TO CUT HAIR? Seems kind of similar to The Real L Word no? O shit. Went. There.

12. Tina with a dude.

13. Everyone cheated on everyone. Every season. Great example to set there. Wonder why most lesbians can’t fucking commit.

14. Alice dating Lara. Uhm. What? Seriously.

15. The entire last season. All of it. Every single minute of it.

But. Look. They still hangout! It’s like The Real Real L Word.

Mind. Blown.

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