Can you be in love with two people at the same time? I mean you can have multiple friends right? Who you love and split your time with right? So why can’t you have more than one lover? You know, being polyamorous.
Being poly is very much so a thing in young queers. But for reasons I’ve been trying to explore not so much here in New York but instead on the west coast, where in places like Portland shit is huge. Queers are polyamorous like whoa.
Personally, I don’t think that I have the mind space to love someone with all of me, and then love someone else equally. I couldn’t have a girlfriend and fuck someone else. I also know for fucking certain that I could not sit at home knowing my girl was out with someone else. I would simply not be able to take it. Like deep down inside I’m this emo, romantic kid from Jersey who maybe wants to write you songs and get lyrics tattood, I’m also someone who craves human relationships. I want to know you, and you, and maybe you too. New York is filled to the brim with amazing, interesting, beautiful women, so it seems like a no brainer to want to get to know as many of them as possible. Isn’t that living? I breathe best when I’m breathing in art, culture, and stimulating conversation. So if I can have that with multiple people well darrrrliiinggg isn’t that marvelous?
I’m like. Idk man.
While I’m not a jealous person I am a protective person. I also want to know that I’m wanted and equally want/need back in return. If I’m in love with you I’m not thinking about anything but you. But us. It’s really hard for me to see outside of that and think of letting someone else in. Relationships are like secret societies, you and yours are sharing something special and it’s just yours to understand,
Now with that said. I am extremely interested in how/why someone can be and happily is poly. I’m curious as all hell. I think the notion of loving more than one person is actually kind of beautiful. Why? Because love is beautiful god dammit. So if your heart happens to be able to take on more then one lover, well props to your overwhelmingly loving heart. But doesn’t eventually someone take precedent over the others? Like we all have best friends who we would prefer to be with or share things with over casual acquaintances. Would that same thought process not come into play?
Having been on the lesbian/queer scene here in New York for a minute (what feels like a trillion billion minutes in actuality) I know damn well that there would be literal fist fights if poly started trending here. I know that outside of the scene I am a part of there are poly queer people’s leading responsible queer lives. But there is no fucking way that anyone I see on a weekly basis could do it. New Yorkers are a bit…dramatic? High strung? Entitled? We live in the best city in the world, but we have to deal with some ridiculous shit. So when it comes down to relationships here I feel like there are only really 4 categories:
2. Dating in limbo
3. Committed relationship
4. Single: Heartbroken. Angry. Sad. Too god damn busy.
The reaction someone gets to being poly here seems very similar to the reaction bisexual people receive. Automatically this person has become untrustworthy or unable to form a true bond and really commit. Those who I have met here who have encountered someone who is poly or have been in poly relationships simply went about shit all wrong. It’s like someone saw the definition of polyamorous and was like YES AN EXCUSE TO FUCK MULTIPLE GIRLS.
Remember that word? Vital to all safe, sound, and happy relationships?
I think (I could be wrong) that poly people are best accepted in poly communities. Meaning everyone they hang out with is also down. It’s kind of like being gender queer, I know what groups I can hang out with where I will 1. Be accepted 2. Be able to meet a girl who understands off the bat who/what I am.
As far as I’m concerned if a situation is uplifting and nurturing to all parties involved I can find no fault with it. BUT I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. So if you’re poly especially on the east coast tell me, tell me everything. Do you think that being polyamorous is a life choice? Or is it a right now kind of thing? Have you found people to be accepting of your lifestyle, or are you constantly defending it?
Non poly people. What are your thoughts? Could you date a polyamorous person yet you yourself remain monogamous to them? Would you ever yourself live a polyamorous life?
Conversation on the table.
*Non judgmental conversation that is.