I had an epiphany of sorts last night. It occurred after probably (estimating here) 8 million or so drinks had been spilled on me -suddenly I was dripping from head to toe. Someone taller than I, a giant mayhaps, had spilled their entire drink over my dainty head.
It was at that moment that I made up my mind. It was at that moment that I decided something had to be done. Call it a law, a call to action, call it a decree. From henceforth on I herby ask that everyone, ALL OF YOU come to any and all parties carrying:
I have had enough of getting fully dressed only to get showered with your nasty ass drink. Because its not like something simple, like say a vodka soda gets spilled on me. No, it’s usually some sweet nasty artificially colored stank ass could be a flavor of Fun Dip beverage.
My clothes and I have had enough. 2013 grab your sippy cups.
That is all.