Homosexuality: Religions Eternal Scapegoat

The resignation of the Pope, has brought to light (yet again) charges of sex crimes against minors in the Catholic Church. The Pope, by staying inside the Vaticans walls is protected from the law, thus avoiding having to go to trial for his crimes.

You have to be fucking kidding me.

But wait. It gets better. The front runner in the search for the next pope Cardinal Peter Turkson says that the problem isn’t that the church is filled with men who are pedophiles no, the problem is the church is filled with homosexuals! The church has a gay problem. Because you see, liking the same sex CLEARLY means that you only like little boys. Never mind what statistics and science say.

Turkson is from the continent of Africa, a continent FILLED with a Big Gulp serving size of hate for gay people. In fact Turkson claims that the problem of homosexuality doesn’t exist where he resides! Being gay is a regional thing you guys!

“African traditional systems kind of protect or have protected its population against this tendency,” he said. “Because in several communities, in several cultures in Africa homosexuality or for that matter any affair between two sexes of the same kind are not countenanced in our society.”

Summary: We have no problem killing those we suspect to be gay in Africa oh and in many of our poorer countries the men of the clergy have more money then any of their congregation therefore they can get away with a shit ton more because you know local law enforcement is basically in their pocket.

While I would usually be all for a black leader rising to power in a place where he is overwhelmingly outnumbered by white men Turkson you need to turn the fuck around.

The Catholic Church does not want you to believe that the problem here, is the fact that hundreds of men, on glorified power trips no less are not permitted to have sex. The Church will continue to use homosexuality as a scapegoat instead of coming to terms with the very REAL fact that many of its members have been lead into believing sex with children is ok – it isn’t much o a stretch to conclude that many of these men were probably abused as young children themselves. They are perpetuating a cycle that they grew up with and continue as they age.

Your sexuality has nothing to do with who you choose to sleep with; if you are a lesbian, you don’t automatically want to fuck all women. If you are a gay man you are not conditioned to like children. Pedophilia and homosexuality are not branches on the same fucking tree. The fact that you are gay does not make you a pedophile AND if that was somehow the case wouldn’t lesbian nuns also be guilty of the same crimes?
Wait hold on what’s that you say American Psychological Association?: “Homosexual men are not more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexual men are.”

Science? Is that you?

So the Catholic Church would like you to simultaneously believe: that all men who abuse children are gay, one of their Cardinals is directly telling you that the European section of the church has too many gay members, yet not only does Pope Benedict really, really, REALLY dislike like gay people he also laughs at the thought that they could exist within the church.

Hmmm. So. I’m confused. Sounds like you guys are confused. Maybe you should all settle on the same story?

On the most basic level of simple understanding, have we not watched enough episodes of SVU or Dateline to realize that there is no correlation between being gay and being a sex offender? No but really. If you have the capacity to rape it isn’t because you do or do not have a wife, it has to do with you being a sick individual. In the church’s case, it has to do with you being a sick individual who also knows that you are protected. You can live out your perverse, sickening life knowing that you literally won’t have to answer to anyone. The abuse of power is so monumental that it is sickening.

The amount of hold the Catholic Church has on society is also tremendously sickening. If these revelations had come about in the Muslim faith do you not see the uproar it would cause? To think that race and class do not have anything to do with this is beyond naive. It is also disgusting. The church will continue to perpetuate false, ACTIVELY FALSE statements about homosexuality to protect not just their religion BUT clearly what has been accepted by the clergy as means of sexual fulfillment.

Whether or not the church would like to continuously use homosexuality as the answer to why this is happening it is still fucking happening. Meaning something has to change. For the rest of the world when we do something wrong we have to face consequences. We have to come to terms with what we have done and own our faults or lapses in judgement we have to apologize and grow. Sometimes we have to go to jail, or rehab, against our will in order to eventually be accepted back into society. Why do we have to be held responsible, yet men who are supposed to be holy, men who are supposed to be the closest thing we have to God on Earth, why do they get a free pass?


Straight Girls And Gay Men Stop Stopping Progress

Every time I have tried to write about this topic I have re read the words on the screen and wondered if I sounded like: A. A homophobe B. A man hating feminist C. A man hating lesbian D. A jackass. It’s a touchy subject, so note that I am aware, and will tread as lightly as possible. No wait. I won’t.

Straight girls Imma let you finish but I need you to stop putting gay men on such a fucking pedestal. I am not mad that you love your gay, I’m glad that you aren’t grossed out by two guys together and that you’ll totally wear “My best friends gay.” shirt at Pride. But see the problem is, from what I have seen over the years, way too many of you allow your gays to get away with some bullshit. If one of your straight guy friends constantly put his hands all over you, or was constantly putting down aspects of the female body YOU WOULD FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Yet when I am out I see gay men put their hands all over you as you smile and act like everything is good and gravy.

Gay men are still MEN. And it isn’t like I am against men, but I am uncomfortable with them in certain spaces. Like say when I am out with a bunch of my fellow lesbians and queers and I see leers from gay dudes. Look sir. You have A MILLION BARS TO GO TO IN NEW YORK GO. Men are privileged. Society has already put them on a god damn pedestal, so I don’t need you to perpetuate their ego.

I have heard some pretty foul things come out of gay guys mouths about lesbians. Even my gay friends have said some fucking fucked up shit. And I have to pause and remember that it is because they are DUDES. And while they are family and no doubt had some of the same struggles that I did coming out, society sees them entirely differently then they see my queer ass. Society has never known what to do with powerful women. Men still make more then women do in the workplace and I still have to turn on the t.v. and see a bevy of advertising that celebrates women as nothing more then baby making milk vats who love throwing house parties, eating yogurt, and throwing dinner parties. Gay male characters on t.v.shows are seen as HILARIOUS best friends. Lesbians when used on t.v. are often used as pirhia’s. They are the butt of jokes. Hell, Ryan Murphy uses Brittany and Santana to constantly make jokes about lesbian sex. What’s that? A white gay man making jokes about lesbians? NO. Never.

All of this bullshit directed at lesbians trickles into the minds of straight girls who idolize their gay men. The girls who come to gay spaces and openly glare and scuff at getting hit on. And place blame on lesbians for being “so gross” because like: why can’t we a bunch of girls drink at a lesbian bar and NOT GET HIT ON. God our gays were tots right. Lesbians are all about trying to convert us. Ugh. Bitch. Leave.

I have had more then one encounter with gay men that have either ended in us both laughing or in me wanting to fucking kill him. Gay men have hit on me thinking that I’m a guy (legit I understand your confusion sir) after me correcting them its where trouble can ensue. “Oh but I’m sure you could still bend me over and take me.” Uhm no I couldn’t and more like wouldn’t because: YOURE A DUDE AND MY MASCULINE QUEER ENERGY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME WANTING TO FUCK YOU OR WANT TO BE YOU. WE ARE NOT THE SAME. AND YOU CAN SHUT YOUR PRIVILEGED MALE ASS THE FUCK UP. KTHANKSBYE. You know who else I have this problem with? Straight girls.

I have been at bars many a time, when a girl has made flirty eyes with me. We have often hung out, had a few drinks, and had a grand time. I often won’t let on that underneath my ensemble are breasts and that I pee sitting down. But then I feel like a morale asshole. I will talk about my blog and talk about the queer community, but more times then not; chicks won’t take the bait. So then I am left having to come out of the closet. Sometimes this goes without a hitch. And other times I get the straight girl reaction of the douchey gay guy. Like “oh ew but why do all of you lesbians just think you can get with whomever you want, you can’t change everyone.” Like I can’t. My mind. My head. It hurts.

I probably sound like I’m bitching. Well I am. Perez Hilton has made an entire career out of being a prick. Off of being a bitch. AND HE IS A MILLIONAIRE. Straight America allows him to be a fucking idiot because they think that is what all gay men resemble. A catty, entitled, white male. For all you queer guys out there and gay guys who are not fucking morons I feel your pain. It’s guys like Perez that straight girls are often after. They want to have kiki’s with their gay men, and talk shit about everyone and it is SO FUNNY and they are so progressive because they’re talking to a gay guy. A GAY! Wahoo we are all so god damn evolved.

Gay men have groped girls I have been dating right in front of my god damn face. Like look dude I get that you fuck other dudes but one that is straight up disrespectful and two you are a dude and shouldn’t be feeling all up on ladies in public. But BUT you’re straight besties totally let you, so in this gay space I (being a lady albeit a butch one in your eyes) should be totally ok with you touching my girlfriend.


Ugh. I am not trying to generalize. And I do have many a queer boy in my life who are gems. But society continuously allows gay men to operate on a totally different set of rules then they do cis straight men, and I think it’s stupid and fucked up and I’m over it.

Have a good weekend.

February 14th Can Royally Kiss My Ass

Yo Valentines Day. I take issue with you. I hate you. I wish you never existed. YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US.

Seriously. Once a year, for about a good few weeks it seems that every females hormones go into fucking bat shit crazy love over drive. Valentines Day Fever takes hold. And there is no escape. Emotions range from:

*Strong black woman voice* psh I don’t need no holiday to tell me who loves and DOES not love me.


I mean *sniffle* someone has to want to be my Valentine right?


Fuck it. I’m going. To. Fuck. Everyone. And that will be better than ANY roses and ANY chocolate. BOOM. Suck my twat Hallmark.


My dad spends HUNDREDS of dollars every V-Day on an array of “I’m a good husband gifts.” And I’m always just like…really though? Firstly if you love the one you’re with you should you know, not need a holiday to tell you when to buy them presents. It should be natural. And out of you know, love. Not because of crazy mass marketing and consumerism breathing down your neck.

Every aspect of Valentines Day is one giant cheese fest. It just makes me think of the Mid West, mall food, and Jared commercials. It also makes all women seem to be fucking chocolate zombies.



Nobody wants faux chocolate jewelry.


Red roses are the ugly red headed step child of the flower world. No but really. Who likes red roses? Raise your hand right now and openly tell me that a dozen red fucking roses gets you going.

Also. Candy hearts – much like their cousin candy corn, you either reallllly like eating them or think they are the most foul items on Earth. They are kind of cute though. So I’ll let them live.

I am sorry world. I am sorry that I sound like such a love hating fucker. But it isn’t love I’m mad at. I swear. It’s those nasty ass heart shape boxes of chocolate. Look. I like chocolate JUST fine. But A. No one needs a box of it bigger than their front door. B. Half of the chocolates are absolutely fucking rank.

Moving right along to other gifts that people think are amazing and just fail miserably:



Ok like. It is kind of on paper a good idea. But. I hate melon. Like I really fucking hate cantaloup. The thought of getting a basket of grapes and cantaloup pretty much sounds like: taking my SAT’s over again, then taking my road test, then taking The Presidential Fitness test (remember that shit) and then being told I had to watch a Frasier marathon. And YES I know you can get an assortment of fruits but then what the hell is said person supposed to do with that thing? This isn’t a Disney movie. I am not Little Red Riding Hood. NYC Subways are no place for open baskets of fruit.

I just. Valentines Day. I can’t with you.

Just the Guts

…and some of us will shift and change the same but some of us won’t but that’s ok I think that’s what your twenties are supposed to be like – this constant shift this constant change and you’re like well I’m growing up but fuck so much of my past literally feels like it was yesterday it’s all almost suffocating but it’s also so damn intoxicating on one hand you’re like I have so much to plan but on the other you’re thinking one more drink won’t hurt and fuck neither will another three it isn’t a spiral into a downfall just an admission that you aren’t perfect that maybe you haven’t figured it out yet and fuck those who think they have and those who really have well all the best and no hard feelings I speak from a place of knowing what it is to fuck up or fuck things up or fuck her up and you and you but love you all the same and know happy actually truly know happy to be that one summer night on a rooftop in Brooklyn where no part of your day made any sense but suddenly it just it just all felt right and surrounded by strangers who had become your best friends for that night and probably only that night but it was special it was something it was important and you are too or something well we all know that we’re something who knows what that something is…