Have you ever had sex with someone and stupidly when it was over uttered something along the lines of:
So was that good for you?
Was that the best you’ve ever had?
So was I better than your ex? (which I did ask once too close to a breakup and made a lady cry…don’t ever ask this. Ever.)
After sex is a really weird time. It’s either super cheesy and cuddly and lovely, or just super awkward. You’re all sticky and hot from the sexin, you probably don’t look nearly as delicious as before the deed went down – you essentially just worked out horizontally (or I mean however you get down). And your brain is basically like:
So the chance of something really stupid slipping out of your mouth is high. You just went through G Force, you’re experiencing after sex 0 gravity. And your tongue sometimes just starts forming words before your brain has the time to tell it to shut the fuck up. I know that I have totally been a culprit of the after sex ‘ask’. A little thing happens where this little obnoxious cheerleader in your head is like: You da best you da best. Ask her ask her assssssskkk herrrrrrr. So she says the words out loud and then it’s like, The Universe Will Know and then you’ll win some universal sex award or whatever. Or worse. A little voice in your head is like: I don’t know if that went as well as I’m thinking it did and we’re both kind of just laying here and it would probably be a bad time to bring up the sequester soooo let me just…ask if I like…did that right.
Now, a little talk about needs never hurt anyone. Knowing how to please your partner is vital to a healthy and amazing sex life. But can we all do ourselves a little favor, and stop asking for a progress report afterwards? Your brain wants to know. You’re laying there and all you want is instant gratification – in words that is. But before you open your mouth work it out. Don’t ask her/him to rate you. Don’t get all ahead of yourself. Take a deep breath. Smile because no matter what, you did just get to have a little fun time and fun time is always the best time.
On another note. It’s the freakin weekend baby imma bout to have me some fun.