P-Town Up New Yawk Down

So you guys I leave for the gay mecca of all mecca’s this weekend – Provincetown and right now I’m kind of like:

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But really

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It’s just I haven’t been away for the whole summer since like camp but like IT IS TOTALLY COOL NOW I’ll be fine

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I won’t miss all you guys or anything

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I mean seriously though I’m sick of New York making me feel like this

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Plus I’ll be on the beach all summer

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And one can only hope that this won’t happen

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Just you know a whole lot of dance floor madness

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And probably a little bit of

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Plus P-Town is the GAYEST

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I’M TOTALLY GOING TO CAPTURE AND RIDE A UNICORN Y’ALL

I’m gonna be just fine guys

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Wait the ferry is $90?

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Cool, cool it’s fine

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You guys are gonna come visit me right?

Right?

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I’ll see you all in September.

Quuergrub. OUT.

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And if you do come visit remember:

The 20 Things That Will Happen on Any Lesbian Vacation:

1. Matching shirts. Preferably with nicknames and numbers. Because the last time you were with this many lesbians was playing college sports. And clearly as a herd of lesbians you don’t already look like a fucking semi pro team.

2. Bring your fair share of cut off tees. Utilize neon in any accessory possible.

3. Its not a casual wear kind of outfit without your headband.

4. Begin speaking only in inside jokes.

5. Make best friends with a new group of girls in the time it takes to buy them shots.

6. Realize how small the lesbian world is when in that new group of friends you realize you actually: played basketball with one of them, date one of their exs, live across the hall from their great aunt.

7. Take as many pictures as possible showcasing the amount of liquor you are consuming. All alcoholic bottles must be in pictures. MUST.

8. Makeout with the friend you PROMISED you never would.

9. Get into at least one insanely stupid emotional fight with either and ex or fellow team member (best friend).

10. Forget to eat.

11. Become the whore I mean “da man” you’ve always dreamed of.

12. Blackout during daytime hours.

13. Wakeup amongst strangers…and than go to breakfast with them.

14. Lose one friend to them being belligerently drunk. Freak out. Only to find them making out with some girl in the bushes.

15. Have some serious drunken heart to hearts. Including at least one over informing game of “Never Have I Ever”.

16. Puke on a friend.

17. Be involved in some form of competitive sporting event. (flip cup)

18. Lose your phone.

19. Make fun of every group that isn’t yours.

20. Fall in (“omg this was totally unexpected”) love.

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