*Bitches Love Diet Coke

Now I am not one to make sweeping generalizations, unless of course they are universally known to be 100% true. And it is known to be a fact of humanity that ladies love them some Diet Coke. Actually I am not even sure love is the right word. Diet Coke is the crutch on which all office lips fall. It is the vessel that lipstick is transported to. It fills cubicles and rests on night stands. It over flows hallway trash cans.

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Find me a sorority house that doesn’t look like it is sponsored by the Coca Cola company.

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Growing up my mom had a seasonal Diet Coke ritual. I knew that Winters cold was seeping into her bones when the fridge was suddenly void of glistening *silver cans and instead an entire (ENTIRE) kitchen cabinet was filled instead. Bitches love Diet Coke so much that they’ll drink it warm. Warm I say! Like a winter time soda coffee.

*Gold cans exist, but like…

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#caffeinefree?

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And you know if you’re going to go all out at the drive thru window you do need to make one healthy decision…

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Because conscious decisions.

That is of course when Diet Coke is an option. Otherwise it’s all:

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IF I WANTED A PEPSI PRODUCT I WOULD HAVE, AS WELL TRAINED CONSUMER DRIVEN AND BRAINWASHED AMERICAN ASKED FOR ONE.

Some people talk about the holy land. You only bow at this alter:

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But then there always has to be a Debbie Downer whose all:

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To which you’re like:

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But then part of you (the tiny part that hasn’t been flooded with Diet Coke minions) is like wellll maybe…

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Because really, your love is real, unwavering, and has no chance of fading.

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*And by bitches. I actually mean everyone.

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