*This is a little informative piece I threw together for a party and now for the Interwebs, to simply breakdown what it means to be gender queer. Heads up, chins out, glitter gun locked and loaded lets do this:
So you aren’t trans? But you’re not a girl? But you pee sitting down? Sometimes you pack and sometimes you don’t? You look like a guy though. But a lot of what you say is kinda feminist like. I’m really confused. Are you confused?
No. I’m just gender queer.
Lets break this down:
Gender is that thing that was slapped on your birth certificate determined by what was between or not between your legs.
Queer is that wonderful word that we can consider an umbrella term for many LGBTQ people.
Now when I slap the words gender and queer together. I am telling you that I am a little bit of both. What is between my legs is not thoroughly who I am. If gender is black and white I am gray.
“So what gender pronoun should I use when addressing you, or people like you?”
No person is the same. No gender queer person is the same. GQ folks range from accepting and being comfortable with words you’ve heard all of your life like: Mr. and Miss. too some other words you may not have even known to exist like: ze/ hir
Zir? What is that about? Think of it this way: he, she, ze / him, her, hir / his, hers, hirs
Names work too. So instead of saying her or him insert said persons name and ta da no need for an awkward moment. They and them are also pretty common.
“So who do you date?”
EVERYONE. And no by that I don’t mean that every gender queer person dates every other sexuality automatically. What I mean is, gender queer people can fall into any sexuality. Because you see, gender and sexuality are separate.
For some of us gender has always been pretty clear. While for some of us gender has been much like sexuality – a question. Anyone who falls under the gay umbrella knows what it is like to question who they are, and question what it is society expects from them, and looks at them. Being gender queer is just another one of those things.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. To stay curious. When done so with respect, there is SO MUCH TO LEARN.