Society We Need to Talk.

Has the world lost its mind? Is that what’s happened? I mean clearly it has. We don’t even technically have a government right now. The National Weather Center is naming hurricanes after characters from Mean Girls. And it’s October which means everyone is going bat shit for pumpkin everything. Which like ok I get it, except I don’t because in actual true fact pumpkin lattes are fucking disgusting.

Oh also the internet has again proven that people actually don’t know what the fuck is up. What am I talking about? I am talking about sex and gender and how people can not seem to be able to see women as anything more than sluts, hoe’s, or confused fragile bunny rabbits who obviously can not own their sexuality because their lady uteruses get in the way. And AND somehow can confess to being raped as an 8 year old and the media calls them an asshat.

Who am I talking about? Miley Cyrus and Chris Brown.

As we all know by now Sinead O’Connor ever so nicely came out the self righteous condo for celebrities no one gives a fuck about unless it’s time for a VH1 Most Shocking countdown. To grace us with how she feels about Miley Cyrus. To which. Really Sinead, shut up. Actually all of you shut up. Look I am in no way saying that every little thing Miley does is justified. But she is growing up, and she is doing so (as she has always done) in the public eye. Let us for a second imagine that our formative years were discussed daily all over the internet and on t.v. IMAGINE that someone wrote you a fucking letter online that was seen by millions stating where you are failing and why you need to fix your life. That would be a whole fucking kit and kaboodle of fun for you wouldn’t it?

Now the VMA’s as a whole were a shit show of horrible. So the fact that we’re even still talking about something that was such a piece of crap is beyond me BUT ANYWAY has everyone just up and forgotten Robin Thicke’s grown married man self gyrating INTO Miley? How can we 1. Expect her to make “good” decisions when the adults around her are not. 2. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE EXCUSING HIM? All I could hear in my head while she was dancing with him was “I know you want it.” As in the line from his song Blurred Lines, which since its debut has undergone a shit ton of scrutiny from people who think with their thinking caps about how maybe that song kind of sounds like you know the words a sexual predator may say to a victim. But alas LET THE MUSIC PLAY. And yes it is catchy, yes I will readily admit that, but you sit and listen to those lyrics, maybe after an episode of Law and Order SVU and you tell me – you try and tell me that you don’t feel a little uncomfortable.

A few months ago when Danny Brown got his dick sucked on stage while performing, other men folk tweeted their congrats at him. Because some random person invading your space and getting on your person IS A HIGH FIVE WORTHY MOMENT. Danny’s girlfriend Kitty Pryde took to the internet to question societies usual fuck fuckery. Asking how on Earth people could think that something as traumatizing as being sexually assaulted was worthy of a handshake? If a woman attacks a man it isn’t actually an attack. It’s ok. Because. WHAT? How are we still this fucking moronically confused?

When anyone touches anyone else in a sexual manner with a lack of said person’s consent. It is assault. No matter the fucking gender.

Chris Brown did an interview last week in which he stated that he lost his virginity when he was 8 to a teenage girl. Note to everyone: THAT IS NOT LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY. IT IS BEING RAPED. Brown has clearly chosen to claim the situation as losing his virginity, because well it could be for a multitude of reasons. But no matter what those reasons are. He was raped. But in our society, men don’t get raped. Right? Chris Brown, is not going to admit to the public that he was raped, because he would then not be seen as a Don Juan, he would be a victim, and men can’t be victims. Which is why we are righting letters to Miley Cyrus and calling Chris Brown a fucking asshole for bragging about having sex when he was 8.

I just. I can’t.

We can not empower ourselves, and expect younger generations to empower THEMSELVES if we keep playing by these utterly stupid misogynistic gender roles. A victim does not come in any shape, shade, gender, or size. And neither does a predator or attacker.
It doesn’t make you any less of a person if you are a victim NO MATTER WHAT YOUR GENDER IS. We need to shake ourselves of these gender restrictions.

A woman can be as sexy as she feels. Can wear the shortest skirts. The most see through of tops. And while you can call it bad fashion YOU PROBABLY NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CALLING HER A SLUT. It does not open the door for her to be attacked verbally or physically.

No matter how strong you are, how much of a quote on quote MAN someone is, it does not mean that in their past or their right now that they haven’t been assaulted. And if that have it has nothing to do with their masculinity or lack of it. It has to do with the fact that there are shitty people out there who prey on other people. And by you not sympathizing or at least understanding that you are possibly keeping that person in the closet forever. Leaving them alone and without the conversation and the help that they so desperately need.

Thank you.
I’m done.


The Tale of Two Browns

So I’ve taken a little blog hiatus. Forgive me. I’m back like Whitney’s new boost in sales. Wait. Too soon? It’s been a weird few weeks. Celebrities are doing what they do best; dying, the entertainment industry is doing what it does best you know, forgetting… (uhmhaichrisbrownisafuckinfdouchebagwhodeservesnothingmorethanapenispoundingbyafewthousandgirlsinstilettosnotafuckinggrammy). I’ve been walking around in hoodies and holding on to my sinus’s for dear life because well the world is ending and winter forget that it was its turn on the season wheel of fortune. So what to do what to do what to do. Ah watch the best of the internet. I givith you media Tuesday:

Now about that weather, this has become my new favorite site at telling me what the fuck it’s like outside (scary) without all of that weatherman bull shit. Seriously do you even need any form of schooling to get that gig? :

Now if the weather isn’t making you crazy apparently dick will. I did not know this being a lesbian and all but really, apparently dick will make you do some cray cray shit. Like what you ask? Like this:


Because most of my readers are lesbians, and that last snippet just did not apply to our lives let me make it up to you real quick.

You are very welcome.

So we all know that SNL is essentially never funny anymore. Seriously it has been YEARS since I got excited to watch an episode. Instead I just head to Hulu every Sunday and watch the top clips. (you know you do the same thing) But something strange happened this weekend. What? SNL was ha-fucking-larious. Also side bar -what the flying fuck was Bill O’Reilly doing on an SNL sound stage? The world really is ending.

Now speaking of the world not being right I brushed over two things before that are both pretty fucking serious, and coincidentally share a common link. Two men with the last name of Brown. Whitney Houston’s death sadly shows us how even the highest can slowly fall and crash land into a place where we never could have imagined. Say what you want but I do think the person who played not only an immense but pivotal role in her demise was Bobby Brown. Anyone who watched their reality show a few years back basically watched what happens when people have way too much money and no one wrangling them in. No one holding them back from making not only fame reducing mistakes but permanent life scars. Fast forward a few years to a new couple. Young, talented, and good looking we were bombarded with images of Chris Brown and Rhianna. And than one night those images became a nightmare. We all had a front seat viewing session as pictures of a freshly beaten up Rhianna surfaced. The Rhianna. Beat up by The Chris Brown. The backlash in Chris’s face was immediate. Radio stations vowed to ban his music. Fans and celebrities alike voiced their hate for Mr. Brown. But like all things in Hollywood the incident was quickly forgotten.

We are an ADD culture after all. Even something as disgusting as abuse can be swept under the rug with a few new club beats. This years Grammys brought Chris Brown back into the spotlight AND gave the douche bag a Grammy. Seriously. Really? That alone was too much for me to handle but than… Oh and what’s this? Rhianna just dropped a remix featuring him? I’m sorry WHAT? This isn’t real. The sane part of my brain doesn’t even know where to begin. I essentially want to personalize apologize to anyone who has ever been subject to abuse. Apologize for the fact that someone who could have turned her horrible experience coupled with her extreme star power into a force to help. Instead she is sending a terribly mixed message to her fans. She is also showing young women exactly who they should not strive to be. I do feel that there is power in both apologies and forgiveness. But this is a situation where forgetting just isn’t an option. Anyone who has the capability to beat someone up once has the ability to do it again. As someone who was brought up as a Quaker, there is no part of me that has any compassion towards those who chose their fists over their words. If Rhianna was your sister would you blast Chris Brown in the car? Would you easily forget what he did because of his celebrity? I don’t think so. Two women permanently affected by the men they chose to love. We can hope that Rhianna will never fall to drugs the way Whitney did but seriously if she can rekindle a relationship with someone who beat the shit out of her how far away is doing a few lines with him? We live in a world where news is old news the minute it happens. But some things need not be forgotten.

We all need to separate the ridiculous of celebrity thinking with how we lead our own lives. Too often do we see celebrities as invincible role models who can do no wrong. This simply is not the case.